Why I'm allowed to laugh at North Korea by Kareem Hassanien
So lets all ignore the fact that it has been a LONG time since I've written politically (as many of you know I much prefer to talk about it).
What I'd like to reference in this quick post began with a conversation with a colleague about how I laughed at the idea of a North Korean strike. My colleague could not believe my gaul and the fact that I rehashed an old Lewis Black joke: 'They may have the capability to create a nuclear weapon and then 500 North Koreans may pick it up and throw it at us'.
The reality is that this fear is another product of our 24 hour news cycles and the constantly reused idea that we need to be weary of some international boogy man and this 28 year old stand-in for the Pixar's 'Up' kid is the next one we should be afraid of.
Now I'm not taking anything away from the North Koreans. While it is true that they have a horrible situation and their government has made quite glaring statements against the US as well (and in turn therefore the rest of the west) as putting together one gem of a kitchy promo video with New York on fire (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UmPDhxLMUc)
I do not really see them as an instant alarming threat. This is nothing new. Just more rhetoric from an asian dictator who really took the small dick theory literally.
Let's talk about Kim Jung-un first. Our new young hollywood loving, Dennis Rodman befriending, Eric Clapton listening enemy. He was once described by Kenji Fujimoto, a Japanese chef who used to work as Kim Jong-il's personal cook, as "a chip off the old block, a spitting image of his father in terms of face, body shape and personality." No shit.
The talking point you'll keep hearing from the media and consequently much of our populace is that he's crazy but...isn't that what we just say about all our unfriendly dictators? Isn't it just the easy way to dislike someone to just call them crazy? It's simple. Clean and efficient. Noriega, Pinochet, Hussein, bin Laden, we love nothing more than just declaring someone against the US is crazy. Now I'm not sticking up for these men in the least. They are total scumbags...but are they crazy? You don't need follow up information on people that are nuts... Why? Because they are nuts! Look he has carried out all the human rights violations and ridiculous shows of power which his father and Grandfather adhered to. He's an egomaniac for sure but we don't seem to simply dismiss that dick at the office, or any banking CEO as immediately crazy therefore no more thought is needed, (well... maybe we do). What I'm saying is isn't it more likely he is simply carrying on the historical legacy of his ancestors?
Now I can hear some of you through the computer: 'Whoa whoa. You are saying that guy isn't nuts and doesn't want to bomb the US?' Well not exactly. I just think it's a lot more like a jealous girlfriend making up a new boyfriend on Facebook than a suicidal mass killer. I think he grew up raised by Kim Jong Il and him by Kim Il Sung. The Korean war was a proxy war between the communist USSR & Chinese governments in the North and the US government in the South in the wake of WW2. Anyone with Wikipedia can read in the opening:
'The Korean Peninsula was ruled by the Empire of Japan from 1910 until the end of World War II. Following thesurrender of the Empire of Japan in September 1945, American administrators divided the peninsula along the 38th parallel, with U.S. military forces occupying the southern half and Soviet military forces occupying the northern half.[26'
Now if you were a leader of a dictatorial communist country and your country was divided in half by the US wouldn't you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder? I'm just saying they are making dick moves but its far from crazy. Also if you've paid any kind of attention (I realize we are more likely to hear about Kim Kardashian than Kim Jong-un) you'll know that there was never an official end of the war just an armistice agreement between the two sides so the whole idea of the Kim's is the promise of reuniting the Korean peninsula (naturally under the Supreme commanders rule).
Since then the North Koreans have been under an intensive series of economic sanctions to keep the regime weakened. Any money of course has gone to the state and this has led the Kim family to keep more for themselves to secure their military rule through years of crushing dissent. But it's not all dead roses and grey unicolour rainbows. Kim Jong-un himself was the target of an assassination attempt as recently as MARCH 2013 according to South Korean sources (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/9930238/North-Koreas-Kim-Jong-un-was-target-of-assassination-attempt.html).
If there is one thing dictators like to do after an assassination attempt it's solidify their place of power. What better way to seem tough than to shoot off a few rockets and threaten the largest military at the planet?
If looked at in a historical perspective it's a farce. The idea that anything can happen really ignores the fact that this exact same thing happened in during the Carter administration then again later when Kim Jong Il took power and needed to seem big in 1994 during the Clinton administration and nothing happened. All sizzle no steak. Now it's just the latest little guys turn to show that just because big papa is gone business is still booming.
It is booming too because history has shown that when the North Koreans make threats, aid to the country traditionally increases as they look like the David vs Goliath story and countries that don't appreciate US intervention (that line starts around the corner) like to try and help out the little guy. Doesn't sound too crazy to me for a country that just was awarded it's latest tough round of sanctions when they recently threw out UN weapons inspectors and restated their "State of War" against the south (again the two countries have technically been at war over 60 years).
Yes they have angry plans. Yes they have vendettas. Yes they may have a half baked nuclear program. Yes they have maps with angry red dots on Austin, Texas....for some reason.
So why laugh? Well it's always funny to watch a little man fake his way into looking tough. Remember that little cocky guy on the playground? The kid with no friends and second hand LA Gears shoes with lights that didn't work? The kid who thought that he'd get more friends by trashing the biggest guy in the room but only when he was in a car moving away?
Didn't you laugh at that kid a bit?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/mar/31/north-korea-south-factory-threat
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-152980/North-Korea-throws-UN-nuclear-inspectors.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2239978/Kim-Jong-Will-Comrade-Cutie-funny-side.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_war
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/kim/interviews/carter.html
